Could be interesting.

[nobleplatypus]

So, as y'all undoubtedly know (unless you're new or tend to skim or something), I identify as asexual and aromantic. This means, in a nutshell, that I am neither sexually nor romantically attracted to other people: I have no interest in banging anyone or dating anyone.

I don't really talk about it all that much, for a variety of reasons. They tend to boil down to things like, "it's not relevant" or "I don't feel like it" or "I'm too busy watching MST3K," but I am also acutely aware that not many people know much about it, and I'd be lying if I said that the general populace's lack of awareness isn't a big damn reason for me to not bring it up.

So, consider this an open forum. If you have questions, ask away. Since this is unlocked, I believe anonymous commenting is an option for you shy folks. If things get out of hand, I'll lock it down.

Some quick notes from me, first:
1.) I will assume the best of intentions on your part, which means that if you say something offensive, I will endeavor to explain with minimal nastiness why it's offensive instead of just bringing the smackdown.
2.) Unless I think you're just being a douche, in which case I will bring the smackdown and/or lock things down.
3.) It might take me a while to answer a question. Don't take it personally. Could be that I wandered off to do other things, could be that it's a new one and I need time to think about it lest my answer be incoherent and/or incorrect. If other aces on my flist want to chime in, I think that would be awesome, but I'm sure I'll get to things eventually.
4.) The ace spectrum is a varied place, and while I will try to be inclusive, bear in mind that I am not speaking for the asexual community as a whole.

Some quick notes for you:
1.) It is okay to be curious!
2.) It is not okay to dehumanize someone else because you're curious; I am not your patient or your specimen. If your question is of an intensely personal nature, you may want to generalize it a bit--either way, you're probably going to get a generalized answer (what with me not being an accurate representation of the entire community and all).
3.) Try to be cool.
4.) If you want to explore the topic on your own (which I strongly encourage), here are some resources:

- The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). I am not active on this site and have heard some discouraging things about the forums, but it's a good place to go for the basics. It's also pretty much THE big asexuality website, so there you go.
- Google "Swankivy." She is on many different social networks (including LJ, Tumblr, and Youtube) and does great work on the awareness front. Her patience far surpasses my own, and she's wonderfully articulate, even when dealing with the most obnoxious trolls you could imagine. You can learn a lot by looking through her archives.

I think that's about it. Ask away.

And if you have no interest in this topic at all, enjoy this gif of a corgi:

Comments

[the-epic.livejournal.com]

CORGI!

Be cool...

[hukbillgoomba.livejournal.com]

On a serious note, I do wonder sometimes about how I would tell the difference between being aromantic and being intensely socially anxious to the point where romance is just not feasible. I mean, I often feel that failure is inevitable in almost everything I do, so perhaps it's just part of that, in the same way I'll never be the first person to set foot on the surface of the sun.
DAMN YOU, SUN!!

[alto2.livejournal.com]

Okay, here's a question I've wondered about for ages: an LJ friend of mine also identifies as asexual but writes a pile of really romantic fic, both slash and het. I can't quite figure out how that works. I realize that I tend to write male characters without being one myself, so maybe it's that simple, but my poor addled brain just can't figure out how you can write about feelings/desires you don't yourself experience. Help?

[tabslock.livejournal.com]

I might have to think about it a little before I ask any questions, but I wanted to say now that:

a) it's really cool of you to provide this forum for people to increase their understanding and awareness, and

b) I initially read your first sentence as "I identify as asexual and aromatic" and heard Shirley in my head saying, "Oh, that's nice!"

[ember-firedrake.livejournal.com]

I have a question of sorts for you.

Over the past year I've been plotting/writing a series of stories (two days to finish this NaNoWriMo, with 4000 words to go). Fantasy/adventure with a romantic sideplot for some characters.

One of my main characters has sort of surprised me, in writing her. She hasn't been part of the romantic subplot, and I didn't really see the need to give her a love interest. In part because I hate that "pair the spares" mentality. At the same time, I didn't want to delegate her to sidekick status or have her feel like a third wheel, so I've been really thinking consciously about her role in events that occur. And recently, it's occurred to me that I see her as rather aromantic, possibly asexual. She has a fondness towards her friends and is intensely loyal to those she trusts, but doesn't really see herself forming romantic attachments (and I definitely don't plan on hooking her up with anyone over the course of the three books I have planned).

I guess I was wondering what advice you might have, if any, as I go about writing this character. With my own awareness that the character is aromantic, is it something that should be definitely stated at some point within my trilogy, so there's that "canon" confirmation?