I don't know your friend's romantic orientation, so there are two ways I could answer this.
I think it's a common misconception that asexuals are necessarily disinterested in romance because romance and sex are considered to be inseparable, and it's true that some aces (such as myself) are disinterested in anything beyond platonic relationships. But most aces do experience what we call "romantic attraction"--the desire for all the warmth and fuzziness that a romantic relationship would provide. That's why we usually identify ourselves as "asexual and [hetero/homo/bi/pan/a]romantic" when we talk about our orientations. It's possible--even likely--that your friend is personally familiar with what it's like to fall in (or be in) romantic love, even if she doesn't know what it's like to look at someone and think, "I'd hit that."
The other answer, presuming your friend is aromantic, is that we all grew up hearing the same stories and drinking the same cultural kool-aid. I'd guess that many aromantic aces took a while to figure themselves out because they'd internalized the message that a romantic partnership is the only real relationship that matters, and it can take a while to realize and come to terms with your own disinterest in something you're supposed to want more than anything. So in that sense, I don't think anyone is really approaching romance from a place of total and utter ignorance.
Plus, as you said, writers often write outside the boundaries of their own personal experience.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2012-11-29 02:02 pm (UTC)I think it's a common misconception that asexuals are necessarily disinterested in romance because romance and sex are considered to be inseparable, and it's true that some aces (such as myself) are disinterested in anything beyond platonic relationships. But most aces do experience what we call "romantic attraction"--the desire for all the warmth and fuzziness that a romantic relationship would provide. That's why we usually identify ourselves as "asexual and [hetero/homo/bi/pan/a]romantic" when we talk about our orientations. It's possible--even likely--that your friend is personally familiar with what it's like to fall in (or be in) romantic love, even if she doesn't know what it's like to look at someone and think, "I'd hit that."
The other answer, presuming your friend is aromantic, is that we all grew up hearing the same stories and drinking the same cultural kool-aid. I'd guess that many aromantic aces took a while to figure themselves out because they'd internalized the message that a romantic partnership is the only real relationship that matters, and it can take a while to realize and come to terms with your own disinterest in something you're supposed to want more than anything. So in that sense, I don't think anyone is really approaching romance from a place of total and utter ignorance.
Plus, as you said, writers often write outside the boundaries of their own personal experience.
Hope this helps!