Croc Huntah of the Caribbean

[nobleplatypus]

Platy: Well, I know it's been forever.

Jack: (smirks and mimics Platy's voice) Part two should be coming soon!

Platy: (bristles) I got distracted! Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope it pleases!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Roseblade's treehouse/fortress. Will is tied to a chair, whimpering slightly. Roseblade is sitting in another chair, regarding him thoughtfully)

Roseblade: Hmmm… should I take your shirt off, or just get it really, really wet?

Will: (stares at her in horror) Why won't you leave me alone?!

Roseblade: (shrugs) You're far too pretty to be left alone, I'm afraid.

Will: (pouts) I hate being pretty.

Roseblade: Don't be ridiculous! If you weren't pretty, no one would want to bother with you!

Will: EXACTLY!

(Meanwhile, down below her treehouse, several people have clustered together)

Freaky Kiki: (whispers) I can hear him.

CrazedElfStalker: Oooh, he sounds angry.

Katla: I know! It's so hot!

All three: (sigh dreamily)

CrazedElfStalker: He can lose his temper at me any day of the week!

Katla: Well. Shall we? (raises her eyebrows at the other two)

Freaky Kiki: Let's! (grabs some vines and starts to climb up to the treehouse)

Katla and CrazedElfStalker: (follow suit)

(The three members of the Secret Will Fangirl Secret Society (SWFSS) drop in--literally--on Roseblade and Will)

Roseblade: (was about two seconds from upending a large pitcher of water over Will's shirt, and now looks up crossly) Who are you three?

Will: (looks pathetically hopeful) Are you here to rescue me?

Katla: (melts) Awww, he's so CUTE!

Will: (slumps) I guess not.

Roseblade: (glares suspiciously at the intruders) Again, who are you, and what are you doing here?

Freaky Kiki: We're fellow Will fangirls, of course!

CrazedElfStalker: We've heard of you, you see. (nods respectfully towards Roseblade)

Roseblade: Heard of me? (looks both baffled and flattered)

Katla: Of course we have! You're the famous Roseblade; the Will fangirl who triumphed! It's not every day that someone successfully bitchnaps him from under Platy's nose, you know.

Roseblade: (is still somewhat suspicious) Well, it wasn't easy.

Freaky Kiki: And we imagine it won't be easy for you to fend Platy and her minions off, either.

Roseblade: What are you getting at?

CrazedElfStalker: It's quite simple, really. You let us enjoy Will's company (grins at Will, who cringes), and we'll help you fend off Platy if the need arises.

Roseblade: (regards them for a moment, then relents) All right. (grins) Want to help me get his shirt wet??

Katla: Do we?! (grins delightedly)

Will: (moans in fear)

(Cut to the strategic planning room. Platy, AlienAgent, Metalkatt, Norrington, Phaidra, Satara, Sophie, Bootstrap, and Kayleigh are all seated around a large, glass-topped table that is lit from underneath, creating a somewhat eerie, glowy effect)

Platy: All right, everyone, pay attention. With some help from the Commodore, I've come up with… (trails off and looks at the door)

(Scap wanders in, gazing intently at a small device clutched in her hands. The device is beeping rather rapidly. As she turns slowly toward Norrington, the frequency of beeps increases still further. Scap walks toward Norrington, still looking at the device and not seeming to notice that anyone is in the room. Finally she stops right next to him and looks up slowly)

Scap: (eyes widen) Hello, there.

Kayleigh: (squints at the device) That's my prototype! What did you do to it?!

Scap: (blinks at Kayleigh) I made a Norry-detector, that's what I did! (goes back to gazing moonily at the Commodore)

Metalkatt: (bristles)

Norrington: Um, hello. (raises an eyebrow slightly)

Scap: (giggles)

Platy: Scap?! Where the hell have you been?

Scap: (looks a bit guilty) Well, I was kind of unpopular after that poker game… so I found this little thing and thought, 'Hey, I can make something that would lead me to Norrington!' So I did.

Metalkatt: (somewhat icily) Congratulations.

Scap: (sniffs belligerently) What's your problem?

AlienAgent: (turns to Platy) Shall I escort her out?

Metalkatt: Please.

Platy: Oh, be nice, you guys. Scap, I'm afraid I can't allow you to fangirl Norrington in my presence. But if you can sit still and behave, you're welcome to stay.

Scap: (sits immediately) I'll be good.

Platy: Excellent. (clears throat and continues) Here's the plan, then. Bootstrap, we're going to have to give you a bit of a haircut.

Bootstrap: (pales) What?!

Sophie: (lashes tail) He doesn't mind. Do you, bitch?

Bootstrap: (looks abashed) No.

Platy: I'm sorry, but it's absolutely necessary. We need to you look as much like Will as possible… and that means a shave. And a haircut.

Scap: (sings) Two bits! (grins)

AlienAgent: No one saw that coming.

Platy: Anyway. Our scouts are looking for Will right now. Once they have discovered his whereabouts, we're going to send in Phaidra.

Phaidra: We are? Sweet!

Platy: (smiles slightly) Yes. You are going to pose as a Will fangirl, which shouldn't be difficult for you. Buddy up with Roseblade a bit; make her trust you. Once we're in position, we'll give you a signal. Then it's your job to hide Will in a closet or something as soon as Roseblade turns her back.

Phaidra: Can I hide in the closet with him?

Metalkatt: (shakes head slowly)

Platy: NO, you may not. Because once he's hidden, you're going to have to say he's escaped and make a big fuss over it. I will take a squad from the WFCU and act like I'm "escaping" with Bootstrap, here. He'll look just like Will from a distance, especially after we cut his hair and dress him in Will's clothes. The idea is for Roseblade to take off after us. Meanwhile, Sophie… you're going to swoop down on The Weasling Dragon and airlift Will out while Roseblade's occupied.

Sophie: Ooooh. Sounds fun.

Platy: It would be too suspicious if I wasn't with the "rescue party," so I'll have to leave his actual rescue to you. You're small and furry like me… he'll be less intimidated. (pauses thoughtfully) You should also make sure you pick up Phaidra as well.

Phaidra: (nods fervently) That would be good.

Satara: What about me?

Platy: You can come with us and, uh… watch my back, I guess.

Scap: Can I come? I can watch your back, too!

Platy: Sure, you can come too.

Kayleigh: (nods at the device) I want that back, by the way.

Scap: (hugs the device protectively) But how else will I find Norry?

Metalkatt: Don't call him Norry! And don't worry about finding him, either.

Norrington: (pats Metalkatt's shoulder) Calm down, darling.

Platy: Scap, if you stole it, you should really give it back. Kayleigh needs it to make a danger detector.

Scap: (pouts and slides the device across the table)

Kayleigh: Thank you. (pockets it)

Platy: Anyway. We'll need another group--AlienAgent, you'll be in charge of that one. It's going to be your job to swoop around behind Roseblade and try to apprehend her. If we can get her in custody, Elderberry can fix her up.

Kayleigh: Or a short stay in IT…

Platy: Only if hypnotism doesn't work. I mean, if we're going to wind up having to do hypnotherapy on them anyway, we might as well just fix her instead of destroying her and putting her back together. (looks around the table) Any questions?

Everyone: (collectively shakes their heads)

Platy: Excellent. (claps paws together) Let's go.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Woooooooooo… there you are, everyone. Hopefully the next installment won't take me as long. ;-)

~Platy