So are asexuality and aromanticism (is that the noun?) less about "I don't find sex/romance appealing" and more about "I don't find sex/romance appealing as an option for me personally, but it's appealing when it presents as a mutually satisfying option for others"?

And it's partly a case of watching a show with your focus on the character's feelings and not on your own.

That's a really good illustrative point. I love A LOT of characters who make choices that I wouldn't make, but the fact that I wouldn't choose to act that way myself has no effect whatsoever on my appreciation of their choices in the context of their characters and my empathy for them.

(P.S. Icon love.)